Posts Tagged ‘Grooms’


November 19, 2008

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast is one of the classic tales of love where art has imitated life. I have always wondered why the Beast always gets a bad rap in this fable.  It seems that everyone is always intimidated by the Beast, wanting him to be something different than what he is.  Shoot, they even call him names. “Hey monster,” they say mockingly, “you’re hairy and you smell.”  Yes, it is true, the beast has excessive amounts of hair protruding from his body, and he is big and loud from time to time.  However, let’s not allow these minor qualities distract us from seeing his true nature.


When it comes to love, weddings and marriage, men sometimes unfairly earn the title of “The Beast.”  On the surface, some guys are not extremely interested in the wedding preparations.  Many guys falsely assume that the wedding is all about the bride, and they are just along for the ride.  But, if given a chance, the groom can and will be an enthusiastic participant in planning the wedding.  He may even be a strategic asset to the bride when she gets in a bind.


At a recent wedding, the groom put aside his role as the Beast and became a Prince. The groom was a guy’s guy. He was smart and a hard charger in business and sports.  His style was to always be the man, in other words “I am the Beast, hear me roar”.   However, leading up to the wedding day, the groom chose a different direction.  He took it upon himself to get involved with the wedding and honeymoon planning.  His minor efforts in assisting his fiancée actually paid off, as he was able to add opinions and personal touches that helped make the ceremony and reception a personal experience for him, too.  The efforts he made, no matter how large or small, scored him huge points and set the tone for the couple’s relationship leading up to the wedding and beyond.


Soon, the wedding started to incorporate more of his style and taste, making him feel more comfortable and excited for the wedding to get underway.  When the day finally arrived, he found himself overwhelmed by his emotions for his bride-to-be.  He sent her special notes and flowers to show his enthusiasm for their future together.  Then, as the ceremony started and Beauty walked down the aisle, he locked eyes with his beaming bride.  He then spoke out with a chilling confidence, words of both love and commitment, which quickly melted into tears.  This had a ripple effect on the entire crowd and, most importantly, on the bride.


The moral of the story is that the Beast’s qualities, however menacing, only show a superficial exterior.  In reality, inside the Beast there is a Prince who can be sensitive, romantic and caring if given a chance and a little coaching. With a little encouragement, even the wildest guys can harness their passion and transform into a source of stability and strength, enabling the bride to shine as the Beauty she is.



November 19, 2008

The Bachelor Party

Grooms – you know that brides dream of their wedding day from birth to the walk down the aisle. They spend countless hours picking out their dresses, flowers, wedding cake, venue and caterer.  But before they finalize these details they have already picked the most important ingredient, the groom.


You have met the girl of your dreams and are ready for that walk down the aisle.  But before that can take place you have that one last send off with all your old friends.  That’s right, the age-old, time-tested bachelor party.  We are talking the kind you can tell your bride about.


When planning your party remember at this point your bride has probably become an expert on event planning.  Ask her to throw a few pointers your way.  Ask about the venders she has decided to use.  A lot of catering companies would be happy to do the full package that might include the wedding, the bridal shower, bachelor party, reception and sometimes a morning after brunch.  


When using the same caterer, be assured you have menu variety to avoid a repeat in flavors or food styling.   You should have a high comfort level with your venders at this point. Knowing that a good caterer or event planner is handling all the details will eliminate a lot of stress, and don’t forget to ask for the package pricing.  If you save a few dollars on this end you will have more to spend with each other on the honeymoon.   


Let’s talk menu.  Everyone loves brats and cold beer but let’s think outside the bun, this is a one of a kind, customized fiesta and should be unique.  Instead of the usual you can order a variety of grilled sausages that may include chicken and apple, jalapeno and garlic, sun dried tomato and Parmesan cheese.  If you have brats and Italian sausage be sure it is of the best quality from an Italian or German deli.  Pair these luscious treats with a variety of spicy mustards, pretzel rolls and flatbreads instead of the white bread bun we are accustomed to. Hand made salads like a hearty penne pasta, ricotta and arugula salad or a grilled potato, pancetta and scallion salad will take this simple approach over the top.


This is all about hungry guys, and a large variety makes up for smaller portions.  The secret here is to use fresh full flavored ingredients that pack a punch.  Flavorful small bits go a long way.  


Did you say sliders?  How about a trio to include Asian duck sliders with shitake mushrooms, spicy mustard sauce or wasabi aioli. Angus blue burgers with gorgonzola and peppered cured tomatoes.  Salmon sliders on brioche buns, cucumber dill slaw and ginger tomato ketchup.  You can even add fresh sweet potato fries.


This concept works well with Mexican fare too.  Jalapeños, stuffed with chili rubbed pork and cilantro.  Chipotle grilled shrimp, jicima slaw.  This menu is about hearty, flavorful, fun and oh so satisfying.


Wild game is a great option, too.  Be sure your group is the type to enjoy this kind of menu.  Try Bison tenderloin with sweet potato au gratins, parsnip mash and juniper berry demi glaze for a more subdued plated meal.  Finish this off with cherries jubilee, a great cigar and cognac.  The boys will be taking about this one at your fiftieth anniversary.


Imagine the possibilities!


November 19, 2008

Don’t Forget the Men

The wedding is really the bride’s domain.  So what happens when the men have to get things done?  If your groom is procrastinating with his gifts for his groomsmen, here are some ideas to help them out.


The most generic gift for the groomsmen is the tired flask.  However, there are many options that no one even knows about.  Gifts that can be used everyday and customized to remember that special day are now available.  But first, here are some tips to help choose the gift to the man.


Who is in the wedding party and what is your budget?  Establish a budget for each groomsman based on placement in the wedding party. 


What is the age of each groomsman?  Gifts for a groomsman in his twenties may not be appropriate for those in their teens.’


What does the groomsman like to do?  Is he sporty, scholarly, adventurous, etc?


Now apply those questions to the gift giving process.  Here are a few ideas for the groomsmen gifts.


An average gift price for groomsmen gifts is $40 each.  However, many like to up the price for the best man, spending around $60.  Of course this is just the average; many grooms with large wedding parties will lower each budget.


For those groomsmen that are teenagers, a great gift idea is gym/duffle bag that they can use at school and on weekends.  If the groomsmen are in their 20’s a great idea would be a cigar flask, rather than a liquor flask, groomsmen in their 30’s would require a more sophisticated gift like cufflinks.  All of these gifts can be personalized with embroidery or with an engraving.


If your groomsman is sporty try a cooler chair.  This is a stool like chair that folds up for easy storage and transportation and has a cooler underneath the seat that holds food and drink.  If he is adventurous, a travel kit that holds items like his razor, blades, scissors, and manicure tools is a sure bet.  Other great ideas are golf trunk organizers for shoes and other small equipment, a Grill Master apron kit that includes everything that a grill enthusiast would need, a silver plated soda/beer can koozie, a men’s leather valet tray which hold things such as keys, cufflinks, pens, watches, and other everyday items.


If you are requiring each man to wear the same tie with his suit, purchase that as the gift for each of them. 


If no gift fits the recipient, go custom.  Build a basket with his favorite foods and drink.  Bake some homemade cookies (or buy from a bakery), put in a couple of bottles of his or the groom’s favorite beer, bag of chips, sugar candies, dried fruit and any other yummy treats that the groomsman likes.  The groom can also throw in a massage or spa certificate.  Men like pampering, just as much as the women do.  This is a great idea, if you want to be sure that he will actually use the gift he is given.


Whatever your groom chooses for his groomsmen, personalize it.  It will make it more special and be a representation of your day.  Also, don’t be afraid to give different gifts to each man.  They are all not the same and choosing a gift for each person individually will show that the groom put real thought and consideration in choosing the gift, as he did when he chose the men.


November 19, 2008

The Do’s And The Don’ts

Giving a wedding toast is a special moment during the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception.  Here are a few tips on toasting etiquette. 


First things first.  Oftentimes, when a toast is given to the bride and groom they will be seen raising their glasses and drinking to themselves.  Wrong!  During a toast TO the bride and groom, the couple should NEVER stand, raise their glasses, and NEVER drink to themselves.


They should thank the toasters or at least smile and graciously nod, however they are not obliged to propose a toast in return.


Toasts can be offered with a sip of champagne, wine, a mixed drink or non-alcoholic punch, but never with tea, coffee or water.  The toasting beverage should be served to the bride first, then the groom, followed by the maid of honor, the parents and lastly the best man.


Traditionally, the first toast is given by the best man.  It’s proper for him to thank the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom.  He should also thank the groom for choosing him as the best man.


A toast should be brief. Never read a lengthy quote or poem, or recount a long-winded story about you and the groom as young chaps.  Get a laugh, get sentimental, be gracious, thank some people, keep it very short and sit down.  Speak slowly and loudly enough for all guests to hear.


Never do a toast impromptu.  Think about it.  Preparation is essential.  Jot down a few notes and remember, you can’t get it wrong, because no one knows what you are going to say.  Practice giving the toast several times in front of a mirror. 


Make sure your toast sounds like you.  It’s okay to have some fun with the toast, but remember that you should generally wind it up in a sincere manner.  The most beautiful sentiment you can express is to discuss what change you’ve seen in the couple since they met.  Use your good judgment about which topics “not” to joke about.  Keep in mind that you are speaking to a wide demographic and some people will take what you say very seriously.  Never share any embarrassing stories. If only a handful of people will understand an inside story, skip it.


If you’re nervous, that’s normal. You may feel the need to have a drink or two before your toast to relax you; but don’t let it backfire by consuming too much alcohol before your toast.  If you are drunk, everyone will know, and you will not leave a great impression on your audience.


Now, let’s get started.  Make sure everyone has their glasses filled, then make a few tink-tink-tinks against a water glass to get everyone’s attention.  Raise your glass with your right hand.  Be sure that the glass is held straight from the shoulder (that’s traditional).  

Your toast should end with wording which makes it clear to the guests that the end has come. It’s easy to do this with a bit of flair, just bring your voice up a notch in volume, and say, for example, “It is with great pleasure that I say congratulations to (Bride) and (Groom). . . may you share many warm days and many warm nights . . . everybody raise your glass . . . here’s to (Bride) and (Groom) . . .”


November 19, 2008

Groom’s Choice

In planning a wedding, many of the decisions are made by the bride, her mother, and the maid of honor.  At times it seems like the groom is left with nothing to do but to show up.  One area, however, where the groom often wants to have a strong say is the decision over what music will be played at the reception.


As groom, you may not know much about flowers for the centerpieces or fabric choices for the bridesmaids’ dresses, but one thing you do know about is music.  You know what you like and since this is YOUR wedding, too, you are going to hear YOUR music.


Fair enough.  Make a list of the types of music, artists, and specific songs that you like.  Keep in mind that a good marriage is based on thoughtful consideration of your spouse’s wishes, so include your sweetheart’s song choices as well.  Also, list all-time family favorites.  Write down fast songs, slow songs, and background/easy listening songs.


An experienced DJ will consider all of your requests.  He then notes the songs that will fit best during certain times of the reception.  During dinner, for example, songs from artists like Jack Johnson, Michael Bublé, Dave Matthews Band, Frank Sinatra, Van Morrison, Santana, and even the Grateful Dead can be worked in to provide a wonderfully eclectic, unique mix that is enjoyed by all of your guests.


How many songs should you choose?  Considering that most songs average between three and four minutes, about seventy songs can be played for a four hour wedding reception.  DON’T TRY TO PICK THE MUSIC FOR THE ENTIRE RECEPTION.  As the kind, considerate man that you are, you want all of your guests to have a great time.  Many have traveled far and spent much time and money to celebrate with you.  The least you can do is allow them to make some requests.


If your song list does end up numbering over thirty tunes, then highlight the songs that absolutely, positively must be played—your personal Top Ten Choices.  This way, your DJ will be sure to play your Top Ten and then work in your other requests as appropriate. 


Very experienced DJs have worked hundreds of weddings and do have the ability to read your crowd and know what song is best to play.  Allow your DJ the freedom to do what he does best.  If you order him to play ONLY the music on your list, you put him in a musical straight jacket.  If you do not allow any requests from your guests, you send a message of not caring about them. 


My fellow American, the strength of this country is based on everyone’s voice being heard.  You are the benevolent president—not a stern dictator–of the music choices and still have ultimate veto power.  You help exercise this power by choosing ahead of time a list of songs NOT TO PLAY.  That way, when someone asks for the “Macarena,” your DJ politely explains that this is one song the newlyweds have requested not to be played.  He then diplomatically asks the guest what other song he would like.  


In this election year, carefully choosing your musical party platform will help you win everyone’s vote of confidence.  Working closely with your veteran DJ adviser, the pursuit of happiness will be enjoyed by all.  And with the running mate you’ve chosen—you can’t lose.

Congratulations!  I’m Ray the DJ, and I have approved this message.

Grooming the Groom

November 19, 2008

Take an active interest in your wedding.  Pitch in.  Find out what you can do to help and don’t let your sweetheart bear all the responsibility.  Put her on a pedestal.  Let her be the center of attention. She deserves it.  Never let her hear you say, “It doesn’t matter to me.  Do whatever you want.” This is the day to be her Prince Charming! 


Roll up your sleeves and get busy.  Wedding overload can be a real problem.  Divide up jobs in advance according to which parts you’re most interested in, then agree to consult each other before the final decisions.  Attend the meetings with the minister, disc jockey, photographer, etc., as a team.  You are in this together.


Be romantic. Leave a love note in her room on the morning of the wedding.  Wake her up to her favorite song.  Romantic surprises make the big day memorable.  Be her personal chauffeur for a day of wedding errands.  Never stop being romantic.  She will love you for it.  Send her mother flowers with a note telling her how happy you are to be marrying her daughter.  Take her father to lunch. 


Pay attention to the details. Spit-shine your shoes.  Gas the car.  A week before the wedding, get a haircut.  (This much time is needed to avoid the peeled onion look.)  Today is the most stressful day of the bride’s life.  Roll with the punches and do what you can to minimize the stress factor. 


Don’t wait until the week before your wedding to figure out what you’re going to wear.  Your formal wear should be reserved about 3 months before the wedding.  Send a detailed e-mail to your groomsmen filling them in on the details about the formal wear.  Let them know when and where to get fitted for their tuxes. Keep your sweetheart in the e-mail loop to let her know that you’ve got everything under control.


Many times the rehearsal dinner falls in the purview of the groom and his family.  Have flowers delivered to the restaurant prior to the dinner. Ask the waitress to present them to your bride with a special card signed by you. 


The best man is a reflection of your judgment, your background and your character.  Decide who is going to be your best man quickly, tell him what is expected and make sure he can honor his commitment.


You probably paid for the open bar.  However that is not a license to get blasted into next week. Tequila shots with your buddies would be a terrible idea.


Whatever you do, do not plan your bachelor party for the night before the wedding.  For some really innovative ideas check Charlee Geisler’s article about Bachelor Parties in this issue. 


You will be expected to say a few words at the reception.  It is important to be brief and to the point.  Tell everyone how happy you are to be marrying the girl of your dreams, say your thank yous and sit down.  Practice beforehand.  Remember, practice does not make you perfect, it just makes you better.


Next. . . live happily ever after!

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

November 19, 2008

Every day’s a party when you are engaged!


Well, maybe not every day, but there are a few days to look forward to during your engagement.
What about after you’re married? We won’t ruin the surprise.

Engagement party
Couple’s shower
Bachelor party
Rehearsal dinner
Day after brunch

Your engagement party: Tells the world you’re off the market.  Don’t feel pressured to invite too many people to your engagement party. And try not to invite anyone that not being invited to the wedding. Usually, you ask close family and friends. Traditionally, the bride’s parents host, but it could be the groom’s parents or just friends that throw the shindig. Whoever hosts has the honor of making the first toast to the couple. Also, remember this might be the first time your families are meeting. Take the time to make sure everyone’s happy and swapping embarrassing stories about you and your fiancée, from toilet training to first kiss and beyond.  Gifts are not required for the engagement party.

Couple’s shower: Don’t get too excited, there’s no water nor soap

This is not a required event, but is often thrown for you. Lots of wedding talk. Lots of party games. And even some gifts. First and foremost, invite your friends. This is a time to relax and enjoy the moment. Don’t feel obligated to invite all of your relatives, but you should expect your immediate family to attend.


Be prepared to play games such as:

Quiz show. Prior to the shower, people will ask you and your fiancée questions that the other will be asked during the shower. You’ll be judged on how well she knows your answers and you know her answers. So start watching her like a hawk. And take notes.


Build an album. Everyone brings a picture of them with you or your fiancée (or both of you) that they will add to a big album while telling the story behind the picture.


This Is Your Life. Someone writes the story of your married life, but removes the details (think Mad Libs). During the shower, your guests fill in the blanks.


Sticky Fingers. Guests are presented with a bowl of candies. After they take one, two or a handful, they are then told that they have to tell as many stories about you and your fiancée as many candies they grabbed.


Dress Up. You get blindfolded and are presented with a suitcase full of things your fiancée might wear on your wedding night. Without looking, you dress your fiancée as much as you can in two minutes.

Bachelor party:  It’s Your time to shine. Or lurk in a corner with a stripper.  See article by Charlee Geisler on page ____________ for great ideas.

Rehearsal dinner: The calm (or not so calm) before the storm.  Practice makes perfect. You should expect to run through the entire ceremony with all the usual suspects (you, your fiancée, your parents, the wedding party, and anyone else with a role besides crying in their seats). Make sure everyone (including you) knows the details.

After the rehearsal, you or your parents should host the party. Invite your immediate family, the wedding party and their spouses or significant others, and the officiant. The host, typically your father, should give the first toast. You should thank everyone as well. The party is also a great time to give your gifts to the bride and groomsmen.

Ceremony/Reception: All eyes are on you.  It’s time.

In Christian ceremonies, your family sits on the right side and you stand to your bride’s right.
In Jewish ceremonies, your family sits on the left and you stand to your bride’s left.
In mixed marriages, toss a coin. And get used to that being your ultimate decision maker.


Legally, other than the promise to marry, the content of the ceremony is yours to write. Be creative, but remember your guests and the DVD.

Traditional ceremonies have the following order of events:

You and your best man will be waiting (or you are escorted by your parents),

Usher escorts bride’s mom and groom’s mom, too.

Groomsmen and bridesmaids, maid of honor, ring bearer and flower girl and, at last, the father of bride with your bride.

The Officiant welcomes everyone.

Your parents will be asked who gives you and your bride to be married.

Readings and/or music

You and your bride will exchange vows.

You and your bride will exchange rings (hers first.)

Rings will be blessed

The Officiant will pronounce you husband and wife

You and/or your bride will do something special (break glass, light candle)

The Officiant will offer a final blessing

The Officiant will present you to the guests as Mr. and Mrs.

Everyone heads out to party (you and bride, flower girl and ring bearer, maid of honor and best man, bride’s parents, your parents and then wedding guests)


Cocktail hour

Introduction of your parents, bride’s parents, flower girl and ring bearer, bridesmaid and groomsmen, maid of honor and best man and bride and groom.

First dance

Toasts (best man, maid of honor, groom and bride, both parents, anyone else)


Cut the cake

Bridal dances (bride with father, groom with mother and wedding party)

Bouquet toss

Garter toss

You and bride thank everyone

You carry bride over threshold.

You consummate the marriage. Twice, if you’re a real man.


Day After Brunch. The first omelet of the rest of your life.

If you’re still in town, invite your family and any guests still hanging around to a casual brunch either at a fun location or your parent’s house (not that your parent’s house isn’t fun). While it is expected that the bride’s parents pay, you might want to step up and take care of the check. After all, you are the man of your family now.

Honeymoon: Finally you two are alone. Now what do you do?

Time to break out the his and her thongs and enjoy your time as newlyweds.


Of course, you could cut to the chase and just elope. Make sure your fiancée really wants to do this, your families won’t be disappointed, and you can bank some of the wedding funds that won’t get used. If not, suck it up and enjoy the parties.

Groom’s Day, Too

November 18, 2008

Grooms today are just as much involved in the planning process as the bride and brides are thrilled that their men are taking on more responsibility and getting involved in making many of the decisions regarding their special day.  The groom’s contribution may vary depending on the type of wedding the couple chooses, but nowadays most grooms are older and getting married at a later age, so they are more savvy in handling their own finances and comfortable paying for the things that mean the most to them as a couple.


Still the most popular involvement for grooms revolves around choosing the music and what to serve at the bar.   This is an easy way to start the planning process as they are comfortable dealing and making decisions on these two details, and the bride is usually always comfortable with the decisions and gives her a sense of pride that the groom is becoming a joint partner in the planning process.


After those details have been established, choosing flowers, décor and other details for the wedding becomes very comfortable for both the bride and groom and the groom actually begins to truly enjoy helping and working together with his future wife in making the wedding day filled with the decisions made together.


The rehearsal dinner is another part of the wedding weekend that many grooms choose to be involved, especially if his family is hosting the event.  This is where his style and taste can truly shine in putting a memorable evening together.


Besides helping with the planning details, the groom still needs to choose his wedding attire.  Though styles have come and gone through the years, the most popular by far is still the traditional classic tux, followed by a custom suit and suits for his groomsmen.  Once the bride and broom have decided on the “look” for the wedding, the groom will advise the other members of the wedding party, including the groomsmen, ushers, fathers and grandfathers of the chosen attire and help them with all the details in reserving and rental of the attire.


Weddings are not just a one-day affair anymore and the guys are now enjoying pre-wedding activities just as much as the girls.  Grooms want to incorporate events that can include everyone from the groomsmen, ushers, fathers and grandfathers and one of the most enjoyable and popular is golf.  Golf outings and/or mini tournaments are usually planned for the Friday before the wedding and it’s a great way for all the guys to get to know one another before the big day.  Other activities for the guys can include wilderness adventures, balloon rides, boating, wine tasting, cigar party, or even a day trip to Vegas.


Since there are so many details to every wedding and the decisions are endless, having your professional wedding consultant there to help you every step of the way with ideas, suggestions and recommendations can only ensure that your event will be an incredible occasion to remember forever.

Bridal Fitness—It’s not just for girls anymore

September 22, 2008

O.K. fellas let’s be honest; you don’t really care what color table cloth will best match the floral center piece. And you’re not going to spend days agonizing over it. But your wedding day is a huge deal. You’re going to stand in front of family and friends and profess your love to the women you plan on spending the rest of your life with.


While your fiancé, her mother, and possibly even a wedding planner are agonizing over every detail, there is one major thing you can be doing to help make your wedding day perfect. Get in Shape.


Your fiancé most likely will be planning on dieting, exercising or hopefully both to prepare for your wedding. If so take the opportunity and join her. Working out together is a great way to spend time together. Exercise is a great stress reliever; I’ve been told planning a wedding can be a bit stressful. When you are working out together you will feel good knowing that you are both doing something good for yourselves. It also is time spent together away from the stresses of wedding planning.


Your fiancé’s motivation to workout is most likely to lose weight, drop a couple dress sizes and firm up body parts that her gown does not cover. As men we have an absolute unfair advantage. The tuxedo can make unfit men look very good. While she is working her butt off trying to be in the best possible shape for the wedding; I’m sure she would appreciate you putting in the same effort to be in shape and look your best on your wedding day. Although you’ll look good in your tux, unfortunately you can’t keep in on forever; and hopefully you won’t want to.


Another reason to start working out now is to build stamina for your wedding day. If you are not in great shape you will be exhausted by the end of the day. You may not sleep well the night before. You may have to be up fairly early. It will be a long day. I’ve heard countless stories about brides and grooms simply collapsing into bed at the end of their wedding day. If you are in great shape you will be able to handle the long day, all the stress that goes with it, and your day won’t have the end that way.


The benefits of working out for your wedding are simple. You will be supportive of your fiancé’s efforts to get in shape. You can spend quality time together away from the stresses of wedding planning. You will have the energy to get through the wedding day with style. Both you and your bride will look and feel your best.


September 21, 2008

Grooms today are more involved in planning their weddings than their counterparts years ago.   However, there are still many grooms who designate invitations as something the bride can do with her mother or friends.  The options and details are often something the groom doesn’t want to fuss over, and they’d rather spend their time doing something else.  However, the invitation sets the tone for the wedding and without it you wouldn’t have any guests to be a part of your special day.  So, here is a list of Dos & Don’ts for today’s groom when it comes to invitations.


Do get involved early in the invitation selection.  It’s great to get the man’s perspective when selecting invitations.  Men generally see things a little differently than women and can offer some great ideas and insights.  If you can’t come in with your fiancé to look, let her know what features are important to you, i.e., no pink ink, no ribbon, etc.


Don’t dash her hopes.  Many brides will spend hours selecting a few invitations for the groom to see before making the final decision.  Occasionally, the groom will come in to see these invitations and not like any of her choices.  At the same time, he is unwilling to spend time finding something he prefers.  This is devastating to the bride who has spent a lot of precious time going through the albums and selecting invitations that not only she loves, but thinks he’ll love as well. 


Do get involved in creating the guest list.  Be proactive, ask your parents for their list of guests names and addresses early.   Follow up with them if you don’t have a complete list when it’s time to place the invitation order.


Don’t just hand your fiancé the names of your friends.  It is your job to get their addresses and find out the names of their girlfriends.


Do volunteer to help write the thank you notes.  If you write the thank you notes to your friends and family, this much dreaded task will be done quickly.


Do be prepared to spend about two hours going through the entire process of ordering your invitations.  There are many details involved, so please be patient.


Don’t tell her you don’t care about the invitations.  Not only is this one of the most important days in your life together, but the invitation sets the tone for the wedding and it can be overwhelming to make so many decisions by herself.


After you are married, don’t tell her all correspondence is her job. 

Invitations are no longer a “bride” thing.  Trust us, she does value and want your opinion, and she really wants to make sure you like them.