Groom’s Choice

In planning a wedding, many of the decisions are made by the bride, her mother, and the maid of honor.  At times it seems like the groom is left with nothing to do but to show up.  One area, however, where the groom often wants to have a strong say is the decision over what music will be played at the reception.


As groom, you may not know much about flowers for the centerpieces or fabric choices for the bridesmaids’ dresses, but one thing you do know about is music.  You know what you like and since this is YOUR wedding, too, you are going to hear YOUR music.


Fair enough.  Make a list of the types of music, artists, and specific songs that you like.  Keep in mind that a good marriage is based on thoughtful consideration of your spouse’s wishes, so include your sweetheart’s song choices as well.  Also, list all-time family favorites.  Write down fast songs, slow songs, and background/easy listening songs.


An experienced DJ will consider all of your requests.  He then notes the songs that will fit best during certain times of the reception.  During dinner, for example, songs from artists like Jack Johnson, Michael Bublé, Dave Matthews Band, Frank Sinatra, Van Morrison, Santana, and even the Grateful Dead can be worked in to provide a wonderfully eclectic, unique mix that is enjoyed by all of your guests.


How many songs should you choose?  Considering that most songs average between three and four minutes, about seventy songs can be played for a four hour wedding reception.  DON’T TRY TO PICK THE MUSIC FOR THE ENTIRE RECEPTION.  As the kind, considerate man that you are, you want all of your guests to have a great time.  Many have traveled far and spent much time and money to celebrate with you.  The least you can do is allow them to make some requests.


If your song list does end up numbering over thirty tunes, then highlight the songs that absolutely, positively must be played—your personal Top Ten Choices.  This way, your DJ will be sure to play your Top Ten and then work in your other requests as appropriate. 


Very experienced DJs have worked hundreds of weddings and do have the ability to read your crowd and know what song is best to play.  Allow your DJ the freedom to do what he does best.  If you order him to play ONLY the music on your list, you put him in a musical straight jacket.  If you do not allow any requests from your guests, you send a message of not caring about them. 


My fellow American, the strength of this country is based on everyone’s voice being heard.  You are the benevolent president—not a stern dictator–of the music choices and still have ultimate veto power.  You help exercise this power by choosing ahead of time a list of songs NOT TO PLAY.  That way, when someone asks for the “Macarena,” your DJ politely explains that this is one song the newlyweds have requested not to be played.  He then diplomatically asks the guest what other song he would like.  


In this election year, carefully choosing your musical party platform will help you win everyone’s vote of confidence.  Working closely with your veteran DJ adviser, the pursuit of happiness will be enjoyed by all.  And with the running mate you’ve chosen—you can’t lose.

Congratulations!  I’m Ray the DJ, and I have approved this message.


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